Monday, February 14, 2011

Life will chew you up

I'm still working on the next "Trolls", but here's a little ditty 'bout a dude called the Crowbar. He's as real and "every guy" as it gets. No frills, super powers, or money...just an old fashioned beat down for scum buckets.

I've been doing this blog for a while and I usually add a few tidbits here and there, but there is a lot more to my busy life then the stuff that I post. There's a lot of frustration with being an artist that wants to share ideas and stories with a lot of people and not having any time to get the things done that I want to show others. I have a pretty stressful full time job, plus my wife and I run a store that is open seven days a week and operated only by the two of us. I'm not sure if there are others that have frustration like this in life. It would be nice to be in the position to have a lot of time to work on projects , develop them, and spend extra time on every little detail, but that's not my life. I'm curious to know if other creative types have a lot of these same issues with their outlets. It could help to have some new followers of my blog and comments about the things I post, or blurbs on what is happening with commenters projects. With all of this and the pending zombie apocalypse I pretty much have my hands full.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Sickness Part 4

I haven't been posting anything due to the holidays and mostly because we are store owners now as of Dec. 1st. I'm gonna get back on it though and start posting regularly if you're a fan...or just someone that likes to check in every once in a while to see what's up, there should be new things to look at. Sign up as a follower...or not, whatever floats your boat Cap'n Crunch.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Trolls #1

This is the official re-launching of my comic blog. In the first year that I posted, there were random new things along with some of the old. After the past half year with virtually no new and entertaining items of awesomeness, I am re-focused on new projects that I am taking pretty seriously. My new adventures are 2 books that I am going to post a page at a time. Without giving away too much about them; the first is titled "Trolls" and the second is "The Sickness". I am going to alternate between the two and make every effort to post every couple of weeks or so. I'll probably throw something unrelated in every once in a long while just to keep things interesting. I hope you enjoy these stories and if you do, tell your friends and or start a fan club... or a fight club...or a primarily law abiding non-violent gang of interesting and positive followers of my blog...or not.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I'm not working on Saturday!

Losin' it # 27Valued employees should never underestimate the street value of a good plaque and recognition certificate. In addition to the Platypus, I am going to have a new ongoing comic...for now...though I can be a little erratic in regard to my committment to specific strips and subject matter...I'm going to make a real effort to focus my comic powers in this productive direction...that's right...I'll do that...for sure. Wow, how refreshing and stuff. I'll continue posting the rest of the Losin' it strips as well as the ongoing posts of the Platypus and this new strip 'Beamer and Blog'. Cool beans.

Some bosses are really not that great...and some should be poisoned...

All it takes to be boss at THIS place is a couple o' crab claws and a crustache.

Poisoning the boss will solve 99.9 percent of all workplace problems.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Obedience Training for Dummies

Losin' It #26

Much like bull dogs, clowns have a problem processing the large amounts of oxygen necessary in any vigorous exercise regimen.

Tasha has been taking our Neopolitan Mastiff puppy, Argus to obedience training. He does however have some issues with other dogs.

This man is obviously single.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Tales from the Playground

I was so buff in 5th grade it's a miracle that I didn't have a mustache.

I’ve always considered myself to be the type of person who resolves things with reason and through communication, especially during the past sixteen years of my life since getting out of the Army. I do, however, feel that there is a place for fighting in society. I was thinking back to the first fight I can remember being in. I was in fifth grade and it was after soccer practice for the illustrious soccer powerhouse the Berney Bulldogs. There was this kid in school; I can’t even really remember his name other than I think his last name was Nelson. He was always kind of a bully and was picking on kids in the school yard that afternoon. I was on the play equipment and he shoved me off, not cool at all. I fell about four or five feet onto my back and enough was enough, I’d had it with him. I jumped up, ran up to where he was, and threw him off. I then jumped down, punched him a few times, and then held him down. The mean part that I feel was over the line, and a little humiliating, was that I held him down and let all of the kids that he had been picking on come over and slap him in the face. I went home and he showed up at my house a little latter, I still don’t know how he knew where I lived. He said that his dad said he had to come over and fight me again and beat me up. I felt really bad for him at that point. I told him that I wasn’t going to fight him again, and that for me it was over. I also told him that as far as I was concerned he could tell his dad he beat me up. After that he acted as though I was his best friend. I told him to quit picking on kids and he did. I don’t really remember him after that year; I think he moved away or something.

I know that when I was a kid there were a lot of outlets to settle scores with people and to get out natural aggression. There were fights after and during school, there were “smokers” or boxing matches where people could go to challenge each other and things were resolved, it was therapeutic. People usually felt better afterward and went out for drinks or something. I remember a fight I was in while in high school. I was sticking up for a female friend of mine and talking crap about her boyfriend who had been allegedly cheating on her. I was a sophomore, he was a senior, and I had been running my pie hole. After weeks of buzz around the school the issue had come to a head. He was waiting outside my English class and a whole lot of people were waiting there as well. I decided it was time for me to face the consequences of my alligator mouth and walked down to class. I was taking off my coat when he hit me (right now I am going to go on the record and say that I was going to lose that fight and get beat up regardless, I’m just saying having my arms caught in my coat didn’t help matters much). I was beat up pretty good, mostly because I kept getting back up and going after him. I learned a valuable lesson in life through that experience. To stay out of other peoples minor personal issues and keep my mouth shut. I didn’t have any hard feelings after that, I had it coming. That guy, Scott Rand, and I were pretty good friends for a period later in life.

What I am trying to say, I guess, is that I don’t think that I EVER heard about a mass shooting or anything like that back then. There weren’t huge school imposed penalties, like expulsion, and guys could have a fight and not go to prison. I’m not saying that bullies or people who fight a lot should run the world or push people around, but our society has gone so far the other way with its wimpification. The “teacher’s pets” rule the world. They can lie, connive, conspire against others, and kiss the boss's ass. They say anything they want without fear, because they know that their deceit will get them ahead in life. Most of them are lawyers, politicians, and CEOs making millions through the TARP funds and public bailouts. What have we done to society?
These guys need the hat trick of the wedgie, swirly, and the purple nurple.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Oh, the HORROR!

Losin' It #veinti cinco

Clowns are a notoriously bad investment.

I want to preface this entry by saying that I did not have a horrible childhood, it was alright. That being said there were some questionable ideas that were developed in the Hale household. This is a little story about one of them. First off, we did not live out in the middle of nowhere, in some remote location seldom frequented by civilized human beings. We lived just outside the city limits, and had a city water supply. We also had a well that was used strictly for irrigation so my parents water bill would stay low. In addition we did not live on some large farm or ranch. We had a house on a large city lot. One day, when I was about 12 or so, my father announced to the family that the well was running dry, but never fear, he had developed a plan to save the Hale household's water bill. He was going to send my brother and I down the well to start digging. To me this was not nearly as great a plan as I think he thought it was.

Now the well was approximately 40 feet deep or so and there wasn't a whole lot of elbow room around a kid when he was down it. My father's awesome idea was comprised of a large "A" shaped steel thingy-ma-bob that went from the ground and leaned at an angle against the house. On the big "A" there was mounted a hand crank winch with a cable. At the end of the cable was a wooden seat like a swing set seat. This was the contraption that lowered me down the well. As far as I know ther were no buried bodies, giant naked mole rats, or Creatures from the Black Lagoon, but those are the kind of things a kid thinks about when he is being lowered down a pitch black well. My equipment included a hard hat with a regular flashlight duct taped on top, A rain coat, and a tall pair of rubber boots. While I was down the well a plastic 5 gallon bucket was lowered with a shovel that had part of the handle sawed off because there just wasn't room for a regular legth shovel down the well. I spent hours digging and filling the bucket which was pulled up when full, bouncing off the sides of the well all the way up, knocking rocks back down on me. But I had my hard hat.

This went on for some time; it seemed like years, but was really just most of the summer. One day while my dad was at work my mom lowered me down the well and the winch came off the crank and I was stuck half way down the well. My mom ran and got some neighbors, it turned into a real "boy trapped in the well" situation. One of the neighbors was able to fix the winch and get me out. You might think that would be a moment to ponder an end to the children down the well situation; nope, I was down the well the next day. After a summer of digging we were allowed to stop, I don't feel like we made a whole lot of headway on the well, but hey, now I have an interesting story to tell.

Small children make excellent mine workers and well diggers. You can pay them in jellybeans and baseball cards... if they survive.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Another old project

This was another strip I had started. The characters were based on people with whom I worked. I still work with two of them...and I won't reveal their identities...but have fun guessing. In some of the upcoming posts I am going to delve deep into my past and reveal some of the stories of my childhood, young adulthood, and various periods in betweenhood. They may make you laugh, cry, want to eat a piece of pie. The next post will be all about 'the boy in the well' I can't tell you any more than that right now...okay the boy was me, but that's all. Enjoy the guards for now.

I knew it! When businesses say they're either out of the office or on another line, they're telling lies!

Being known as the Big Dog doesn't always mean something good.

Charlie Brown wants his shirt back.

Boobs can never be too big. And sometimes the biggest boobs have crew cuts.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Archives

Losin' it #23

'You don't seem like the salad type' is code for 'You're a fat pig clown

I've started quite a few comic strip ideas, only to abandon them later. It's not that I'm cold hearted or unfeeling. I still care about the abandonded strips, it was just the best thing for both of us. It may be hard for these cartoons to understand now, but I hope they will come to realize that it just wouldn't have worked out between us. I want nothing but the best for these lonely doodles so I'm posting some of them this time and next. Enjoy, I hope you'll be happy together.

This is exactly the reason why I consume only 100% Stolen Cheese.

Pupsicles are especially delicious after a vigorous day of tobogganing.

Ad on Craigslist next day: free to forever home, good dogs.  More hyper than I can handle.  Need someone willing to train.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Losin' It #20

That's why, instead of planting grass seed, I planted magic beans. I've decided to print my own currency and surprisingly it's worth the same as the Federal Reserve Notes of the Chinese owned United States of America. I was never a fan of George W.'s and I think he did most everything wrong, but I'm also not real happy that Barack has sold us to a foreign nation. I'm not going to learn the Chinese language, I hate the color the whole communist thing won't work for me.

one hundy is much different from one Hyundai, which is worth a little more... I had CPR training the other day, but I think I lost my patient...and I'm pretty sure I'm covered by the Good Samaritian better luck next time I guess.

I am now fully certified to resuscitate any plastic dummies that might stop breathing...

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Losin' It #19
You can tell the energy level of a cartoonist by how many words he underlines in the first panel of his cartoon.

I think we as the public, by way of the media, are addicted to pandemics, catastophes, and just all around scary news. We seem to be glued to the news during the latest and greatest world new news fright fest. It's usually never quite as bad, or exciting depending on how you look at it, as it's made out to be. That being said, I think I may have an idea how these various viruses mutate.

If pigs could fly I'm quite certain that bacon would be lower in fat, yet still just as tasty.