Showing posts with label Evildoers Beware. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evildoers Beware. Show all posts

Monday, August 24, 2009

Tales from the Playground

I was so buff in 5th grade it's a miracle that I didn't have a mustache.

I’ve always considered myself to be the type of person who resolves things with reason and through communication, especially during the past sixteen years of my life since getting out of the Army. I do, however, feel that there is a place for fighting in society. I was thinking back to the first fight I can remember being in. I was in fifth grade and it was after soccer practice for the illustrious soccer powerhouse the Berney Bulldogs. There was this kid in school; I can’t even really remember his name other than I think his last name was Nelson. He was always kind of a bully and was picking on kids in the school yard that afternoon. I was on the play equipment and he shoved me off, not cool at all. I fell about four or five feet onto my back and enough was enough, I’d had it with him. I jumped up, ran up to where he was, and threw him off. I then jumped down, punched him a few times, and then held him down. The mean part that I feel was over the line, and a little humiliating, was that I held him down and let all of the kids that he had been picking on come over and slap him in the face. I went home and he showed up at my house a little latter, I still don’t know how he knew where I lived. He said that his dad said he had to come over and fight me again and beat me up. I felt really bad for him at that point. I told him that I wasn’t going to fight him again, and that for me it was over. I also told him that as far as I was concerned he could tell his dad he beat me up. After that he acted as though I was his best friend. I told him to quit picking on kids and he did. I don’t really remember him after that year; I think he moved away or something.

I know that when I was a kid there were a lot of outlets to settle scores with people and to get out natural aggression. There were fights after and during school, there were “smokers” or boxing matches where people could go to challenge each other and things were resolved, it was therapeutic. People usually felt better afterward and went out for drinks or something. I remember a fight I was in while in high school. I was sticking up for a female friend of mine and talking crap about her boyfriend who had been allegedly cheating on her. I was a sophomore, he was a senior, and I had been running my pie hole. After weeks of buzz around the school the issue had come to a head. He was waiting outside my English class and a whole lot of people were waiting there as well. I decided it was time for me to face the consequences of my alligator mouth and walked down to class. I was taking off my coat when he hit me (right now I am going to go on the record and say that I was going to lose that fight and get beat up regardless, I’m just saying having my arms caught in my coat didn’t help matters much). I was beat up pretty good, mostly because I kept getting back up and going after him. I learned a valuable lesson in life through that experience. To stay out of other peoples minor personal issues and keep my mouth shut. I didn’t have any hard feelings after that, I had it coming. That guy, Scott Rand, and I were pretty good friends for a period later in life.

What I am trying to say, I guess, is that I don’t think that I EVER heard about a mass shooting or anything like that back then. There weren’t huge school imposed penalties, like expulsion, and guys could have a fight and not go to prison. I’m not saying that bullies or people who fight a lot should run the world or push people around, but our society has gone so far the other way with its wimpification. The “teacher’s pets” rule the world. They can lie, connive, conspire against others, and kiss the boss's ass. They say anything they want without fear, because they know that their deceit will get them ahead in life. Most of them are lawyers, politicians, and CEOs making millions through the TARP funds and public bailouts. What have we done to society?
These guys need the hat trick of the wedgie, swirly, and the purple nurple.

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Spectacular Super Scootch!

Losin' It #10:

Just because you have your doctorate doesn't mean you know what you're talking about.

As promised in the post before last, The adventures of the Spectacular Super Scootch is here. Super Scootch is just like me in real life...except my skin doesn't turn to metal...I don't have awesome ninja skills...and I really try to avoid fighting nowadays, kind of...but I do hate politicians, crooks, thieves, and cheats.

He's taking all our Hamiltons!

Baron Von Bailout gets his hair cut at Hair Masters.


Old bologna smells surprisingly like sweaty feet and watermelon Jolly Ranchers.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I octohate the octomom

Losin' It #6:

Poor Spanky McJiggles, he can't catch a break.
The Octomom has really gotten on my nerves and under my skin. The lady is a compulsive liar! She is obviously crazy as both of her parents have stated! She is completely irresponsible by having 14 children with no job and spending all of the money that she has received from a disability claim on plastic surgery! If most of these children don't grow up to be incarcerated felons, they will likely have mental health issues or extreme emotional problems from being raised by or anywhere near this nut job. Octomom you're octonuts and an octoirresponsible, octonarcisstic octodrama queen. I wish you would octodisappear.

The HORRIBLE OCTO MOM!  Run for your lives!

The worldwide debut of The Tash!

Yes! The Tash gave her a swift kick to the uterus and ripped her lips off!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Head Cheese

Here is the second comic for Losin' It.

Losin' It #2:
Spanky McJiggles for President!
The book I started is titled "Head Cheese". Here are the first several pages that I completed; it's awesome and delicious, so strap on your bib, grab your lobster mallet, and dive in face first. It's low cal and carb free. Bon appetit.This all just came out of my head. Scary, isn't it?I was hungry when I drew this, and I've heard clowns and hippies are both quite tasty.Doctors and dentists give me the willies.You should always listen when people tell you not to drink the water.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

My Inaugural Blog

This cartoon illustrates that as a Real Life Superhero, I battle the four main threats to humanity in this day and age: robots, vampires, aliens from other planets, and bail out banks.

I prefer fighting robots, vampires, and aliens to dealing with bail out banks.


There are several reasons to avoid robot domination, and this is one of them.Robots will steal your body and keep your brain alive by feeding it food with no nutritional value.
On my 40th birthday I made the decision to treat myself to a new car. As many people have experienced, buying a car can be very painful. The following comic illustrates some of the madcap antics that I experienced.
John was a total and complete idiot.

He really said I was the toughest kind of customer!  What a salesman!

FJ Cruisers ROCK! This is the end of my first post. Tell me what you think.